It is hereby certified that as of now, (insert name) discovered nothing and realized that he/she is nobody. He/she now understands that there is nothing to understand because nobody understands nothing. Consequently, he/she learned that his/her search for the truth was a big joke, and that he/she was the butt of the joke. After his/her search ended, he/she discovered that who he/she thought He/she was, was not who He/she was, and that who he/she is, is simply what is. He/she is now free to enjoy being what he/she is, even though he/she doesn't know what that is. He/she is free because no matter what he/she does he/she will always be doing exactly what he/she has to be doing, which is what he/she was already doing before he/she discovered that that was what he/she was doing.

________ now knows that every person he/she meets—including every homeless bum, criminal, alcoholic, drug addict, and otherwise disreputable person, is himself/herself. He/she therefore must never speak ill of anyone because he/she will be spreading rumors about himself/herself. In the same way, he/she can never be proud of anything he/she does because he/she is not the one who does anything. Because he/she now knows that time and space are imaginary, he/she knows that he/she is always here and now, wherever that is. Henceforth he/she will never forget that who he/she is, is beyond name and form and that his/her past personhood was a product of imagination. Now, he/she will always treat other people as himself/herself, because he/she knows that they are himself/herself.

_________ now knows the secret of all secrets, that there is no secret. Everything is lying open and in plain sight. He/she can now relax and have a good laugh at having found something that was never lost.

He/she is hereby declared to be an official member of the Brotherhood/Sisterhood/Ithood of Sacred Emptiness. Having finally seen the Big Picture, he/she now knows that all the little pictures are imaginary—and that the Big Picture is also imaginary. He/she has discovered that he/she and God are one and that God has an enormous sense of humor.

He/she is therefore authorized to talk incessantly about what he/she has discovered, understanding that when he/she has finished saying everything he/she can think of to say, he/she will have said absolutely nothing to nobody, and nobody will understand what he's/she's talking about anyway.

Signed by:

Your Own Self

President and only member of the Club of Cosmic Consciousness
(He/she is the only member of the club, because there is only One available to be a member.Anyone else could be president if there was anyone else, but despite searching high and low, nobody has ever found anyone else.)

Author UNKNOWN ??... or was it just YOU ??